So I started a new job about two weeks ago. It’s fast food, which requires precision and, well, fastness.
I was nervous at first because the last two similar jobs (similar meaning minimum wage) that I had had rampant sexual harassment, not just of me, but of several women in the store. I didn’t know if I was up to the challenge of keeping my cool while someone was insulting me again, but I decided to give it a go because a) I had been hired (woot!) and b) I was desperate.
Much to my surprise, I found some really nice people at the place where I work. Everyone tries to keep it a positive experience, and a manager was actually called out by another manager for being too aggressive and bossy during my last shift.
I was frying stuff and thought, while a co-worker complained that his order hadn’t been called yet, that this is what work is supposed to be like.
At those other jobs, I would have been constantly looking behind my back to listen for the latest slur or jibe, being supremely distracted by it all.
Here, I just had to hurry up with my work – not small task either, but one made easier by the knowledge that no one was talking about me.
It’s weird, actually. People kind of like me.
But you know me, I’ve got something to worry about anyway.
I promised myself that I’d cut my hair short again (FREEDOM!!!) once I got my first paycheck, and that date is coming up on Friday.
I don’t want to be treated differently by my co-workers and managers, though. I’m nervous!
What if I do uncover some latent homophobia or transphobia in the fast food and supermarket world? What if it does make a difference?
I know that I need a haircut anyway, and I need to be myself again. Hoping that the dysphoria won’t increase with short hair, since I’ll be seeing all of my face. Nerves nerves nerves!
What I’m thinking of doing is slowly easing myself back into a short haircut. First, I’ll get it short on the sides and long on the front a la queerbois and Macklemore so that I can still have bangs. If I feel it needs to be shorter, I’ll go the fauxhawk route.
With this mask of longish hair, I haven’t gotten the societal crap that shorthairs get regularly for about a year now. And I like that. But at the same time I’m dissatisfied because it’s not me.
Just wish we could all be the same, and good!